Tagged: loss

this late into the

i don’t know how to

i don’t know how to
be a proper human, i make
little notes on how

to conduct myself, scratch out
wins, circle losses with a

bruised marker, i catch
myself staring at myself,
there’s no turning back

all of it begins

all of it begins
to fade even as we are
capturing it – pen

to paper, experience
to memory – don’t hold on

perhaps months,

perhaps months,
years from now, these
days will become
foggy, it’s how our
minds insist on
playing games with
our hearts – now you see
me, now you don’t

we have no choice as
witnesses, obligated
to make out every
fine detail in the
heightened haze

forty-three hours have

forty-three hours have
passed since we lost you. i hide
the details
from my-

self, don’t get too close to the
edges for fear of falling

remember that year

remember that year
when we lost so
many… was the
joy ever worth
the long
aches afterwards?
everyone tries
these words
in their mouths
many times before
spitting them out.
they’re unswallowable
by any muscles
so the human spirit
keeps taking the bait

an ear against your

an ear against your
chest and images from
tonight’s viewing of
the latest Underworld
in the franchise
beneath my eyelids, i
am once again
wondering whose
heart will stop
beating first, and
would the one that
continues alone be okay
with succumbing to
such guilty pleasures