girls’ night out

girls’ night out
.
i say ditmas
they say details
i say beautiful weather
they say uh-huh
i say adventure
they say romance
i say first date?
they say name, please
i say …
they say ooo
they say second date?
i say done that
they say and?
i say full day
they say and?
i say not yet
they say so…?
i say what?
i say i don’t know
i say maybe
i say i know
i say we’ll see
.
20091110:1349
y

the morning after we said it

the morning after we said it
was over, we realized it was
over because when we awoke
and finally opened
our eyes after five
years, they were
dry for the first
time.

and when i asked you
what you wanted for
breakfast, you asked
if i wanted burritos,
and i took out the juicer,
and we started slicing
into our divided
tasks.

when we sat down to
eat, we were no longer
in love, but two
bodies sharing a table
with all the words unknotted
between us, and not
a single breath with
wings
.
20091108:2152
y

when you take my

when you take my
hand, i am
terrified –
i hear the sound of hammer
and nails being driven
into that lingering layer of
sunset, revealing only the most
wounded and, as a rule, most
beautiful. when you
take my hand, i am
thrown –
i catch myself flinging
time aside, swimming
up for normalcy, as if it were
one last pocket of oxygen
clasped between our
palms. when you
take my hand, i am
new –
terrified, yet beautiful
thrown, but caught
wounded and normal
revealed, still breathing
.
20091108:1341
y

you threw me

you threw me
for a curve, something
that tasted
subtle, yet complex

an autumn day
framed by clusters
of fiery constellations
planets aligned, then
pierced

like argyle
with no signs
of prearranged patterns
like westminster
with every hint
of the sparkling thames
.
20091104:2317
y

an ultimatum is often

an ultimatum is often
delivered with the disguised
voice used in the most
inexperienced and
the most skilled of
hostage situations –
a long and cool
knife, ever sharpening
over a sliver
of bound hope

in not asking me to
choose, you have already
hardened the choices
.
20091104:0244
y

you say that from your arms

you say that from your arms
all stars are within reach

it takes only one
to burn away the illusion

you say no one wants to
sit in a photo booth alone

i think there are easier
ways to feel found
.
20091026:2318
y

it’s always a Chinese finger trap too

it’s always a Chinese finger trap too
late when the music starts to
undress at the first arpeggiated
chord, and your fingers are already
fumbling
with the suspensions
and releases
when you peel
back the
final layers
and realize
that it’s just
the beginnings of
a getting to know
him getting to know
her mixed tape
.
20091007:2123
y

you must know

you must know
that i, too,
break down
like this, even
cold bodies
eventually
find release
.
20091004:2206
y

he will find the one he needs

he will find the one he needs
to be with, she thinks,
soon. and by then, it will be much
too late. she will find the one
she has been seeking, he thinks,
any day now, and it will be
the unswerving kind.

for now, they think of each
other sparingly. she doesn’t
tell him that there’s an emptiness
when he’s away. he doesn’t
mention that sometimes
he can imagine
needing her.
.
20090928:1622
y

why do i feel so distant

why do i feel so distant
from everyone? he asks me.
and i don’t understand
where he gets this notion
that there is something besides
numbness in calibrating life
.
20090921:1703
y