Tagged: resist

even now, we are

even now, we are
rehearsing this newest
compulsion to
rebalance, a
gentle pressure to
but not so much


perhaps i spread my

perhaps i spread my
fingers just a little when
i am thinking of
and me
and whether
there can be an
us, the dreaded
unknown, hiding
my face
from the face of
it, without resisting
a peek

there is an old, new

there is an old, new
paralysis – a hitchhiker
on the most bearable
days, a parasite on
the worst – that pins
down a hand, an
arm, a leg, a morsel
of every hour, crushing
the cells and membranes
of day. we feel
sick about it all
the time, emerge
from the stupor
spasmodically to ask
one another for best and
worst case scenarios,
readjust our negativity
bias for a version
of survival

if i had my way with

if i had my way with
delta waves, and there
were a catalogue to
dreaming, i would
run a slippery finger
down the thumb index
to find the letters to
your initials – perhaps
they would be rubbed
off with devotion –
skim down the
pages, pick one before
i get too
involved or over-
whelmed with the
selection, and lie
down to dream.

or perhaps the letters
would be crisp,
untouched, the pages
never exposed to
light, a volume
of deferred
because resisting
is always more

on day fifty-three, only
my waking thoughts
go there, caress
the spine of unknown
volumes, controlling
the impulse to ask
for at least one dream

awareness is not

awareness is not
action – this morning,
over the toilet bowl,
recognizing that the
body will eventually
act, revolt,
when administered
enough poison

i have been caught

i have been caught
grinding my teeth
in the middle of the
night again. you reach
over and massage my
cheeks, pulling me
back from worlds
and worlds away. i
return to you, covered
in the elements –
exiting the universes
we create always
takes some strength,
ample resistance

day one or day

day one or day
twenty-four, i realize
i think of you
so that there’s less
room for the
rest of it. we all do
it, think of one
another so that we
can manage how much
to withstand, surrender,
resist, confront.
this morning,
i couldn’t get out
of bed, then i
thought of you