Tagged: anxiety

in the shadows, we

when i am in your

when i am in your
arms, i pretend to know what’s
what, take great gulps of

confidence, appear serene,
a thing you can hold onto

there are seconds

there are seconds
that converge every
morning to act as a
fine-meshed strainer,
separating parts of
myself from other
parts of myself.
i am awake
in this world again,
severed from all other
possible worlds,
recalibrating for
traces of paralysis

i never pretend to be more

i never pretend to be more
or less involved than i am at any
given moment. if i do pretend to
pretend, it is so that i can tell you
later, perhaps make you laugh,
nervously, as if you don’t want to be
in on the secret. soon, i will have to
stop writing this down so that
you can stop reading. truth, lie, or
dare, let’s pretend to pretend
until we can tell each other
later, when desire
is a long spent thing

i have been caught

i have been caught
grinding my teeth
in the middle of the
night again. you reach
over and massage my
cheeks, pulling me
back from worlds
and worlds away. i
return to you, covered
in the elements –
exiting the universes
we create always
takes some strength,
ample resistance

in the morning, you

in the morning, you
started with, did you
in the
afternoon, you
messaged me,
did you see…?
in the evening, you
turned to me, did
you read…?
i heard, i saw, i tried
not to read – daily,
pulling at and
readjusting this
knot in my stomach
so that i can still
stand straight, stop
bumping into this
version of me

how can we bottle

how can we bottle
up this anxiety, make it
useful, so that we
can wake up sunday
morning, tilt it
over a stack of
blueberry pancakes,
and still enjoy
the scenery