for fear of being

for fear of being
terrified, i make
small waves, swim
away from the edge
and back, as though i could
possibly get the hang
of it, run directly into
indiscretions for a touch
of normalcy, a stretch of
and still,
i amass all
the words in my
throat so that
they have to choose
whether to be
or benign. i smile
and say all the important
things because they cover
up other important things,
i pirouette when poked,
try not to make more
friends than i have to


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